Five Barbaric Ways to Eat a Watermelon (For Breakfast)

Derived from my mom's 'what-do-you-think-you're-doing?-lectures'

1) Cut a watermelon in half. Give 1 half to your loved one. If you don't love anyone else, save the other half for tomorrow.

Spoon out the center, taking care to destroy the sweet sweet evidence. Once you have a big enough hole and enough juices to fill it, make sure to drop as many seeds into it as possible - now you have a rocky bottom. Float something to represent boats - prepare to do a naval battle.

2) Cut watermelon in weird shapes. Eat it and put the crust back together, preferably gluing it. Now you have a fake watermelon. Impress all your friends by lifting that sucker with your finger.

3) Cut a watermelon in a serrated way, eat all of it out, color it white and tell everyone you found a dinosaur egg

4) Drop watermelon on the floor. If floor is clean, pick up the pieces and eat them. If the floor is dirty, utilize the 5 second rule.

5) Build a watermelon pyramid to defy the Egyptians or something even more crazy


...and then run to your bathroom/outhouse/tree stump.

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Drinking for Breakfast?

The effects of soda/pop/coke on the human body vs. water. A picture says 100100245560000 words.

My minions at Amazon have finally delivered a book called You're Not Sick, You're Thirsty! by F. Batmanghelidj, M.D.

That title sounds perfectly evil. But to my surprise, the book was not sponsored by HMOs, but by a doctor. Don't know what kind of doctor researcher he is, but it's a simple thing - no one should forget about water in the morning.

In any case, here's some helpful stuff from the book that I learnt:

Short tempered boss/husband/child? He might be dehydrated. Force him to drink a couple of glasses of water, and see him get all calm. Apparently irritability is a "copout process so as not to engage in a brain-energy -consuming involvement beyond that particular moment."

Anyone up to doing an experiment on effects of seltzer vs water on bosses?

She's acting all dejected and needy? No, your girlfriend does not have low self-esteem. It's just water. Here's the explanation: Dehydration depletes amino acids that are essential in many different body functions, including neurotransmission. "Their shortage in the body means loss of assets that the brain assesses as insufficient and inaequate for its undertakings."

Disturbed sleep, particularly in the elderly. "The body will not have a restful night's sleep if it is short on water. A full 8 hours' sleep will further dehydrate the body because much water is lost in respiration and possible perspiration under the heavy covers. If the body receives water and a little salt, sleep rhythm will be reestablished immediately."

Good for keeping grandma asleep when you need to sneak some cookies from the kitchen. Don't look at me that way. Healthy whole-wheat cookies, I tell you...

...more to come. Definitely more to come.

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Aprikose Fruchtsalat

Apricot Fruit Salad

Apricots
Sesame seeds
Poppy seeds
a little sesame toasted oil
lemon or lime

Cut apricots up, add a bit of oil, and sprinkle seeds to your liking. Splash with lemon or lime. Devour.

From Healing with Whole Foods:
Apricots "used for dry throat, thirst, asthma, and other lung conditions when there is fluid deficiency. Because of its high copper and cobalt content, it is commonly used to treat anemia. They must be used cautiously during pregnancy and avoided in cases of diarrhea." yeah, they can totally clean you out... but these won't:

Almond Butter Plum Sandwiches

Almond butter
Plums
Whole Grain Bread

Spread some almond butter on the bread. Cover with plums. Enjoy.

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Mystère de Chocolat

What made me so giddy and chipper today? My new favorite breakfast.

What you need:

1) Frozen berries (blueberries are perfect)
2) Raw cocoa powder - don't substitute with hershey's or supermarket chocolate. That stuff will kill you.
3) Almond butter

Throw frozen berries in a blender, add a spoon or so of raw cocoa powder and some almond butter – top with walnuts or whatever strikes your fancy, and you have a pleasure-chemical-inducing ice-cream-like frozen breakfast for those unbearable hot mornings.

And look how healthy:

Chocolate and blueberries are richer in antioxidants than wine or brussel sprouts. Antioxidants are believed to play a role in preventing cellular damage and the development of such chronic diseases as cancer, heart disease, stroke, Alzheimer's disease, Rheumatoid arthritis, and cataracts.

Chocolate and almonds are a few of the best sources of magnesium. And a lot of us are deficient in magnesium. Signs of deficiency include:

* Muscle cramps in legs or feet
* Muscle twitches
* Aching muscles
* Migraine headaches
* Dental pain
* Brain ‘fogging’
* Anxiety or irritability
* Restless legs

Read more about the health benefits of blueberries, chocolate and almonds.

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Céréale Aromatisée par Nectarine

Quite easy and cheap

Buckwheat
Soy milk
nectarine

Cook buckwheat. Add chilled soy milk. Mix in fresh nectarine pieces.

Buckwheat is incredibly tricky to make right, but here's an easy way: Wash buckwheat, pour boiling water on top. Cover and let the pot sit wrapped in a towel overnight or until fluffy and soft.

or the way my mom makes it (which is, in my view, tastier) - toast buckwheat in a dry pan, add water and let sit on very very low heat on stove until soft but not mushy.

Soooo tasty. So filling. Soo good for you.

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Parsnips and Apples

Parsnips. Such tough sweet things. Maybe they just don't go with apples, but maybe they do.

I mean, they are so different - apple hangs around on trees and parsnip hides underneath the ground. Everyone knows the tender apple's name, and parsnip-who? It's a lonely thing. Yes it is. And of course, there is that unbridgeable divide - one is a vegetable, the other a fruit. Are they just meant to be apart, those two sweet things?

Let's find out. So I boiled parsnips and apples together and pureed them in the food processor and surprise!
Mousse-like consistency. Not altogether unpleasant. Needs something, but we might be on the road to magic.

Now to balance out the flavors. Or to take out the parsnips altogether, and call it apple sauce...

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Millet Porridge with Apricots

Cook millet with raisins, poppy seeds and cinnamon.

How to cook Millet "To cook millet as a grain instead of rice, just simmer 1/2 cup in 1 1/2 cups of liquid. If you leave it alone as it cooks, you'll get fluffy grains like rice; if you stir frequently and add a little extra liquid during cooking, you'll get a dish that resembles mashed potatoes. It takes about 25 minutes to cook millet by simmering."

Millet is rich in B vitamins, especially niacin, B6 and folacin, calcium, phosphorus iron, potassium, zinc and magnesium.

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Bagelicious

New York is drenched today. Ahoy for the rain. On my way to work I ducked into Grand Central, running past the chaos of umbrellas, scaffolding, hollering newspaper people and greasy rainbow puddles.

Grand Central Hot and Crusty bakery sure has its aromas down pat, which got me thinking about the lines of people waiting for a bagel and coffee fix. I haven’t had a bagel in 300 fly years, so I decided to grab a few and drag them to my 2nd secret labaratory (ie. work cubicle)

So here’s a dilemma - how do we improve on the usual bagel breakfast? Let’s say you have a plain bagel with jelly and coffee every day. Is there hope?

#1 – Whole wheat bagel is the way to go if you want to have steady energy throughout the whole morning and give your body the gift of fiber and nutrients. Ask to see an ingredients list to make sure the bagel does not have “corn syrup” or “hydrogenated oils” in it. That stuff is better to avoid.

#2 – Get some fresh fruit instead of jelly. I have cherries. Deeee-li-cious.

#3 – Coffee? There are many substitutes. You can have this stuff, which I never tried, but I will... If someone did, let me know how it actually tastes like… http://www.teeccino.com/default.aspx

Anyway, so here’s my fast rainy day breakfast: A whole wheat bagel with cherries and herbal tea. Sorry for the utilitarian picture. My 2nd lab doesn’t have good lighting.

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